Friends

A life time's not too long to live as friends

Lately I haven't been as nice as I could be, so a shout out to anyone I've been a jerk to (you know who you are), I'm really sorry, I'm sorry that I keep messing up and having to say sorry over and over again.... hopefully this will be the last time. 

Friends are great, and I don't know what I would do without my best friends, Nikki, Alonda, Dene`, Winnie, Katherina, you guys have always been there for me and treated me way better than I deserved and WAY better than I treated you. thanks for being there.

Before I moved to Illinois in February of 2006 I didn't really have any close friends. I was mostly home-schooled up through the first half of 5th grade and the half of 2nd grade I did attend, the only people in my class were boys. As a second grader i still though that boys had cooties... (well, most of them). As a result, I really started the friend thing way later than most people, maybe that's why I'm so bad at being a good friend. 

So I've been working on the friend thing for almost five years now and I'm happy to say that I have at least 237 friends, not including the ones that don't have Facebook.

I heard a song, called Your Hands (by JJ Heller) right after I had been particularly mean to a couple of my friends, and frankly, my jerk-ness broke my own heart, so I prayed, and apologized, and if you are wondering why i'm writing about it, it's because I'm trying to remember, in every way possible the promises I've made and broken, it helps my accountability, besides maybe if I post it publicly it will embarrass me enough to change my behavior. 

Broken.... I'm thinking maybe it's a good thing. I need my heart to be broken, naturally the human heart is stony and cold, and only through Jesus can you be given a heart of flesh. Selflessness can't be found in yourself.... you have to surrender all to Jesus. 

Proverbs 17:17 says " A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Now that doesn't mean you should fight with your siblings but really, it's probably a better idea to fight with your siblings than your friends, they love you no matter what you do (most of the time). Really if you fight with your friends, you probably wont have very many.

Proverbs 18:24 says, " A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Is it really easier to get along with your friends than it is with your siblings? depends on the circumstances but most of the time for most people it is. I've been really bad at being "friendly" and have gotten very close to losing friends over it. 

So is it all worth it? having friends, definitely. Being a jerk, absolutely not.... you will always regret it, and if you don't, well, i'm praying for you.

1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, HE is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness." So even if you have dug the hole too deep and people don't forgive you, God ALWAYS will.

So to all my great friends, thanks for being there always, even though I have repeatedly been mean, you guys are great.